Longevity Diet

My grandmother died when my mother was very young. I’m not sure what her diet was like when her mother was alive, but it took a varied, erratic, turn afterward as her father took over.

Sometimes my mother would be in charge of breakfast for herself and younger brother. One favorite creation de jour was crushed saltines in coffee. Other times, her dad would make oatmeal. She described it as so thick you could put your spoon into it, turn the bowl upside down and it wouldn’t move. She and her brother tried to “fix” it by adding canned milk and sugar. They didn’t have fresh milk. 

My grandfather baked his own bread. Who doesn’t love the aroma of fresh baked bread? I’m not sure what the aroma was like, but the finished product was described as concrete. Peanut butter and jelly or just jelly were the usual school lunches but even those soft spreadables didn’t affect the rock texture of his unique loaves.

My mother said he did his best but just overcooked everything, like the time he made huckleberry jam. Often my grandfather would ask a lady relative or friend how to cook something. Huckleberries grew wild in the mountains near their home and someone gave him a recipe. The result? Huckleberry tar. Nothing whets an appetite like tar on concrete.

He really did try his best to take care of the two of them. I remember overhearing my mother and her brother reminiscing. “Remember the vitamins?” he asked. And they both broke out in laughter. Apparently, a traveling salesman convinced my grandfather that his kids needed liquid vitamins. My uncle swore they were just dirt mixed with water. To add credence to this theory, he mentioned my grandfather wouldn’t try them.

When my mother turned sixteen she got a job after school and on Saturdays. Each Friday, she looked forward to a 20 cent school lunch splurge – tuna fish on soft white bread and a chocolate milk. 

I’ve never seen my mother drink chocolate milk. Not sure if it was the canned milk she had as a kid but with the exceptions of grilled cheese and pizza, my mother is anti-dairy. She still likes tuna and insists on soft white bread. Many other “health” foods like hot dogs, cold cuts, chocolate, and corn chips are part of her regular diet. She likes sugary cereals, sans milk, of course. She eats cereal dry with a cup of black coffee. For a while she was eating the magically delicious one with marshmallow shapes. Apparently, there weren’t enough marshmallows, so she bought a bag of extras to throw in. Did you know they sold those? 

My mom has an upside down food pyramid. The tiny point on the top is for fruit and vegetables. An occasional banana is the only fruit she eats and vegetables are scant unless you count sauerkraut, mustard and relish. 

There are many conflicting diets purported to restore a person’s health, or lose weight safely, or make you beautiful from the inside out, or even better, add years to your life.

My mother is 94. And there you have it. The longevity diet is pretty simple. As you mature, discard those childhood staples like tar, concrete, and dirt water vitamins and eat what you like.