My mother and sister paid for a cruise to Hawaii. The two of them, me, and my niece. We thoroughly enjoyed one another’s company. But the cruise?
I felt like I was trapped in a hotel/mall. There was a lot of water, a ton of mediocre food, and plenty of schnorrers.
At our first island stop, the barn doors opened, and all the “cruisers” trampled out. A well-fed joyful family pushed past us. One of them yelled, “C’mon, I know where there’s a Walmart!”
I checked the list in my head. Beach, snorkeling, restaurant, shopping, scenery….No Walmart? One of Hawaii’s can’t miss sites? It was my first cruise. I was such a novice.
When we walked away from the ship, we hopped on a tourist trap bus that went around in a big circle. We stopped at a shop, an aquarium, and a waterfall. All in all, it wasn’t bad.
My sister made plans during the trip for a helicopter flight over an active volcano. To my mother’s over obvious relief, the weather was not cooperative. The flight was cancelled.
When the ship was at sea, there were crafts. We made necklaces out of some kind of big black seeds called Kakui nuts. The instructor told some story of them being good luck as she gave very slow, detailed step by step directions that boiled down to string the seeds together and tie the string. I took the best picture of my niece’s “please just shoot me” face. Unfortunately, I lost all the pictures from that trip – deleted by accident – pre cloud.
I never planned to go on another cruise, but I have to admit to a few highlights.
One was Fanning Island. There was some sort of tax savings, making the trip more affordable if the ship made the excursion to this tiny, sparsely inhabited, tropical island. We were greeted by musicians and vendors. We bought hats made out of palm fronds and walked away from the hubbub. We only walked a short distance and found ourselves on a white sand, pristine, undisturbed beach. Palm trees bowed toward the ocean and flowering shrubs poked out of the ground. We found a log to sit on. It was dreamlike for about ten minutes. Then other cruisers started to appear, breaking the spell. My mom and I sat there but my sister and niece kept walking and met a very interesting woman. She was a professor who imparted some local lore as well as a bit of her own history and connection to the island.
Another highlight was a stop at the big Island where my sister wanted to snorkel. She found a rental shack where the proprietor advised her to forego renting snorkels and masks. He said there had been a storm the day before and the surf was murky. She wouldn’t see much and was probably wasting her time and money. She said, “Okay, good, I’d like two snorkels and two masks, please.”
I sat on the beach and watched the purses, clothes and towels, as she and her daughter headed for the water. There was a mound of sand, a small dune, that obstructed my view of them. A few minutes after I lost sight of them, my sister appeared, smiling like she had just found a pirate’s hidden treasure. She yelled to me, “There’s a sea turtle!” I gathered all the stuff in my arms and ran down. Everyone within hearing distance of my sister also came running. There she was – a giant sea turtle, in full view, blissfully unaware of her stardom, gracefully skirting along the edge of the surf, close to the beach. It seems that this rare sighting was the result of the storm and murky water.
And one more highlight I have to mention. There was “entertainment” on the cruise. My mom wanted to go see a comedian. I don’t remember his name. I don’t remember one joke. I didn’t even remember his name or jokes the next day.
This is what I remember. My mother wanted to get there early for a good seat. My sister and niece said they’d meet us there. We were early and had a choice of all the good first row seats. We took a four-person semi-circle padded sofa right up front. The theatre started to fill up. Many people asked if they could sit there. “Are these seats taken?” “Could we sit here?” were politely asked, and immediately shot down. “No, I’m sorry,” my mom replied over and over. “They’re taken.” She shooed people away, guarding those seats like a pitbull. A few minutes after the show started and my sister and niece still hadn’t arrived, a familiar old time comedian and his beautiful young date showed up and he asked, “Is this seat taken?” I had to stifle a laugh when my mother, recognizing him, immediately replied, “No, it’s not!”
They were nice, introduced themselves, and told us they promised the comedian they would catch his show. I don’t know what they thought about him. He did seem to be working a little too hard, and sadly garnered few laughs from the audience.
As it turned out, my sister and niece never made it to the show, so it was nice that the seats did end up being occupied. And my mom enjoyed meeting Marty Allen and his wife.
